Hi Indecisive my name is Pansy! PT 1

13 years ago I got my first camera! A beauitful point and shoot that was sparkly and blue, Oh how I loved it so much. That day August 2nd I took pictures of EVERYTHING! That was the day I knew I loved the art of digital photography. 

5 years later I got my first DSLR for my 17th birthday. Five days later I decided to start photography! Not to make money or even a portfolio but to just have fun. 

                                                                             

  

My model was my best friend at the time! She is truly stunning and so fun to work with.

                                                                            

I literally did not know what I was doing or honestly where I was going with it! I just wanted to take pictures for fun. My naivety of it all is now pretty laughable because I didn't know the next 8 years I would be starting and quitting Photography multiple times. 

Nobody told me that my innocence would be robbed MULTIPLE TIMES not only by my own self destructive tendencies but by Friends, Fellow Photographers and even family. 

Photography is such a tricky business to have, you could be the best photographer in the world and feel the pressure that you get constantly to be "Perfect" to have the right amount of "followers" or amount of people that pay obscenely prices for that one shot. 

By now you're probably asking yourself "Where is this blog post going?" Well honestly I have no idea Ha! But I want to highlight the pressures that a lot of photographers feel. 

Here I am 8 years later with a husband and two crazy kids realizing that my failure to launch my business was solely because I felt those burdens.

                                                                            

My two beauitful girls.

My amazing husband. 

                                                                               

What burdens you say? Well let me fill you in on some things that some photographers WON'T! Simply because they might not think you're interested or they want to keep the perfect image that so many photographers try to project.  

1. The countless HOURS we spending possibly editing just one photo to make sure it's the perfect one. 

2. The amount of money we spent on equipment can become astronomical! Buying a $500 lens seems crazy but pretty neccessary to be able to expand and also give beauitful shots.

3. Gas, Gas and Gas! Most photographers will spend a lot of their personal money to travel outside of where they normally are so they can get more exposure. 

4. TIME I can't stress this enough! We will stay up for hours and even miss family time just to make sure that your moments are forever captured in beauitful images. 

5. Our mental health! Some will spend time analyzing and comparing oneself to other photographers, this I learned is one of the most self destructive traits that I've seen in some photographers. (myself included)

People will not discuss how this affects us mentally.

6. Competion! This one is hard one but it's the truth. Not only are we having to compete with ourselves but with every other photographer in your area. In a small town there can be upward to 20 Photographers in a population of about 3,300 people! That's a lot of photographers for a small area. 

7. Social media presence, it's so important that you've become pretty established within social media and your region. 

At the end of the day you can see why for some this just isn't feasible. I know that until now it's been a very hard road of self discovery and indecisive choices to know that I want to expand but at my own pace.

Which brings me too the fact that its okay to be indecisive sometimes and that doing things at your own pace is so important if you want to be successful in YOUR eyes. 

It's so important to love oneself before trying to start any journey either that be Photography or something that you love personally. 

                                                                             

 Find me on social media 

Xx - Pansy